Where Chief Runs With Paws Rules the Land

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In the new America, this Land of The Free where so many of The Brave fear their own shadow, where vandals are lauded for destruction of historical monuments, and riots and resistance on college campuses is praised because The First Amendment is too provocative, my understanding fails me when Chief Runs With Paws scampers by unnoticed.

In case you’re wondering, Runs With Paws is the latest cat figurine from Illinois-based, online retailer The Hamilton Collection.20170829_122737

“Wearing his majestic ceremonial headdress with pride and casting an all-knowing, green-eyed stare your way, this adorable kitty is the chosen guardian of the spirit world.”

And now, he can be all yours with the Chief Runs with Paws Figurine, “a Native American-inspired cat figurine available in a limited edition…. This little kitty is ready to bring his indomitable spirit to your home.”

You’d think the Native American has endured more than any other race in the country, having been ridiculed and enslaved for centuries. Afterall, they’re essentially still enslaved in the concentration camps we call reservations despite their ability to live freely among their captors.

Yes, they’re arguably free to judicate the enclosures they were given, the enclosures we’ve all (White, Black, Yellow, or Brown) given them or forcibly led them to—with exception to when our Government decides to supercede them with a pipeline, and when Leftist organizations like Greenpeace exploits their cause.

Speaking of exploitation, Chief Runs With Paw’s “all-knowing, green-eyed stare” will continue to watch you while Margaret Sanger is celebrated in the National Portrait Gallery for her role in the eugenics movement, for her speech to the Ku Klux Klan, and as founder of Planned Parenthood; while former Ku Klux Klan leader and U.S. Senator Robert Byrd (D-W. Va.) is lauded as a mentor because he said, “I’m sorry I supported supremacy and segregation,” and yet has more than 50 public buildings named in his honor; and while General Robert E. Lee—who openly scorned secession, war and even opposed memorializing the events of the Civil War—is systematically removed from our peripheral view in a sweeping attempt at cultural genocide.

(Read: Confederate Statues Removed While Racist Progressive Statues Remain)

But Chief Runs With Paws marches on, quietly obtaining pats on his feathered war bonnet. As he trots, the society who pets him remains more concerned with tightening an elusive, invisible strand of shackles in spite of themselves, avoiding historical fact while placing greater concern on someone who’s a little too pink to represent fictional characters in movies and television.

Meanwhile, back on the reservation someone wonders why a new Walmart just covered their ancestral home, and Chief Runs With Paws rules the land

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Carport Caddyshack Moment

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So, I’m sitting in my vehicle under the carport, texting, with my door open when I hear an animal trotting quickly around the house.

I don’t have any animals.
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I look to my left and here comes this big ol’ groundhog waddle-running, and its about to jump in my car!

I held out my hand like I thought a Supremes dance move would stop it or something. He halted, looked, sniffed, and jumped onto the stoop next to the car.

That stoop, by the way, is half a hop away from the inside of my car.

He looked me in the eyes, wiggled his nose, and at this point I was waiting on, “Good day, sir. Fancy weather we’re having isn’t it?”

So, I slammed to car door, hissed (like crazy person noises would really spook him after my killer dance moves meant nothing), and he ran on down the driveway like he was late for a business meeting.